Girl's Camp - Already?!?

So it's that time in our life as parents when we have to start letting go a little. It's kinda scary, kinda thrilling. I'm sad that my baby girl is growing up so fast, but at the same time looking forward to the day when these parental responsibilities are far less and Matt & I can be 'husband & wife' more often than 'Mommy & Daddy'. It seems so strange to think of myself as the mother of a teenager - at times I feel like I'm an actor playing a role that I haven't prepared enough for. What did I get myself into?!? What does the future hold for my children? What dreams that we have for them will they actually fulfill, and in what ways will they go in a different, unexpected direction altogether?

Jessica has a beautiful, kind-hearted soul. She loves animals & all creepy-crawlies, loves people, loves to talk, and of course LOVES to read. She struggles at times between being a kid and being a little 'mommy', but what oldest child doesn't? She cares so deeply & wants so badly to make me happy that oftentimes she tries too hard and I don't appreciate her efforts enough - but I'm working on that.

Jessica is going through the moodiness and the 'weepy'-ness that comes along with the whole teenage-girl-going-through-puberty thing (Matt's dreading the day when we will have both girls going through it together), but she's getting better at turning it around when I tell her to "get over it" & come back when she can be more pleasant (yes, I can be pretty harsh).

We've been working on the manners thing and the fashion thing as she is one who is ALL for feeling comfortable no matter what it looks like. Not that I'm any 'fashionista' myself but I do at least know that striped shirts & flowered skirts totally clash!

Anyway, I'm not the gushy type & I'm not a very eloquent writer (or speaker, for that matter) but last week while Jessica was attending her first Girl's Camp with the Young Women's organization through church (kind of a big 'milestone') it just got me thinking that this is the beginning of the end of her childhood. I'm sad for her on so many levels, but at the same time I'm happy for her. I always wonder if I've done the right things? Did we build enough happy memories & do they trump the not-so-happy ones? Will she still feel like I'm the "best Mommy in the World" after she's off on her own, or will she need our help to fund her mental health treatment instead of college?

I ask myself these kinds of questions all the time. I just hope that when she looks back on her childhood she will remember these days as the best years of her life. I hope I am preparing her for the life she wants for herself. I hope that when she does find the man of her dreams, that he is also the man of our dreams. I hope we have provided a good life for her, and I hope it will be a good enough foundation to enable her to provide a good life for herself & her future family. I hope that she will be a better person than I am.

Yes, I am rambling about what the future may hold, but all of a sudden the future is a lot closer than I realized.